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If you could choose one other mama you’ve met recently to develop a friendship with, who comes to mind?
Mama, if you feel like close friendships are missing from your day-to-day life, you’re not alone.
As a new stay-at-home mom, most of my close girlfriends lived hours or even states away.
And while I maintained friendships with them, it just wasn’t the same as seeing someone regularly and keeping up with each other’s lives on a regular basis.
Mama, don’t buy into the lie that you have to sacrifice having friends of your own when you choose to stay home with your kids.
I’ve already shared five ways to make friends as a mom in another post.
Here are six more!
6 Ways To Make Friends As A Mom
1. One-Offs Won’t Work
When you choose an activity to get involved with, prioritize things that will happen more than once.
And preferably on a regular schedule.
Yes, you might meet your new best friend at that one time goat yoga class the local farm is hosting next month.
But unless you make plans right away, it’s not likely.
When it comes to building real friendships, slow and steady usually wins the race.
And that can only happen when you are seeing the same people over and over again over a period of time.
So choose committees, groups and positions that will put you to work with the same people at least a handful of times in order to give the seeds of friendship a chance to sprout.
2. Tell Your Friends
If the friends you do have have gotten used to you rejecting invitations or bailing at the last minute to do mama stuff, they may just assume that you’re not interested in hanging out anymore.
And this is the exact opposite of what you want if you’re trying to make more friends.
So get on Facebook and let the world know that while you love your family, you’ve put them first for a long time.
And that in order to be the best mama you can be you also need to get back in the habit of being a better friend too.
Then say that you’re looking for some opportunities to get back into your social groove.
And watch the invitations start to come in.
3. Get A Part-Time Job
Even if you don’t need the money, and it’s one shift a week, this is a great way to meet new people.
While most work friendships don’t last much past your last day on the job, some do.
Once of my best girlfriends is someone I met at my retail job in college over fifteen years ago.
We’ve been friends through marriages, babies, new homes and old heartbreaks.
And it’s all because of a couple of years we spent behind a counter together at the mall.
The most important thing to remember is to choose a job will add joy to your life.
Either because you do something that is meaningful and makes a difference.
Or just because it is something that is easy and stress-free.
If you are getting a job to gain opportunities to remember who you are outside of being mom, and to make some new friends, do not accept a position that will add stress or cause you to bring work home, either physically or emotionally.
4. Be Helpful
Ask how you can help whenever the opportunity arises.
Because whether you’re clearing the table at your daughter’s friend’s birthday party or keeping an eye on your neighbor’s toddler while she chases their runaway dog down the street, people remember those who were willing to go the extra mile for them.
You do not need to be a doormat or put other people ahead of your own family on a regular basis.
But taking the time to lend a hand when it is just as easy not to will go a long way to showing people that you are the kind of person worth getting to know.
5. Zip Your Lips
Gossiping is the quickest way to encourage other mamas to cross you right off of their list of potential friends.
Nothing says stay away like someone who talks about others behind their backs.
And for good reason.
If you’re quick to talk negatively about people, why would anyone want to get closer to you?
After all, that would just give you information to use as ammunition against them.
So if you want to make new friends as a stay-at-home mom, stick to the old adage.
And when you don’t have something nice to say, just don’t!
6. Accept Invitations
A few months after my daughter was born, another mama, the wife of my husband’s co-worker, sent me an email inviting me to a mom’s girls’ night.
We lived in the same city, and she was having some girlfriends over to share wine and chit chat about new motherhood.
Our kids were around the same age, and we were both part-time stay-at-home moms with husbands in the same industry.
And more importantly, I liked this girl.
We had met a few times at events our husbands were attending, and we hit it off.
But I was a tired new mom.
And I still didn’t love to leave my baby if it wasn’t necessary.
So I emailed back saying, “Thanks, but next time.”
Well guess what?
There was no next time.
You see, when you don’t know some one well and you reject their invitation, you’ve really sent a message that you’re not interested in developing a friendship with that person.
Whether that was the message you meant to send or not.
And think about it.
If you put yourself out there to invite an acquaintance to get together and she declined, would you take the initiative again any time soon?
So when you are invited to spend time with another mama you’d like to connect with, especially someone you don’t know well, do everything in your power to make it happen.
Taking The First Steps To Make Friends As A Mom
There’s no question that making friends as a stay-at-home mom takes a different strategy than making friends pre-kids or as a working mama.
Fewer opportunities naturally present themselves to meet new people.
But with only a few small deliberate changes to how you interact with others and schedule your time, you will be on your way to social calendar that is as full as you want to make it.
Start with being as kind and helpful as you can with your words and actions.
And then seek out ways to add some new activities to your regular schedule.
And once invitations do come in, accept them!
How have you made new friends in the past as a stay-at-home mom?
Which of these steps can you implement the most seamlessly into your life?