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Mama, have you tried everything you can think of to get your whiny child to stop whining?
You wonder if you’re doing something wrong to cause your child to be so unhappy all of the time.
You don’t get why you can’t “fix” your little one, despite trying harder than you’ve ever tried to do anything before to find a solution.
And you start to dislike yourself for not wanting to be around her when the moaning starts up yet again.
Mama, I have a little girl who came into the world whining, and hasn’t stopped since.
But when I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself about it, and payed attention to my daughter’s whining patterns for a couple of weeks, I noticed that she had three triggers that set her off.
Now, as soon as the moaning and groaning sets in, I get to work trying to identify which trigger is responsible.
As a result, my daughter spends less time whining, and I spend less time feeling frustrated and out of control.
3 Questions To Ask Yourself The Next Time Your Child Is Whining
1. Does she have the language skills she needs to communicate without whining?
We have patience with a crying baby because we understand that he doesn’t have the language skills to communicate his needs to us.
But many times our older children whine for the very same reason.
While my 7-year-old daughter can speak, she doesn’t always know how to articulate what it is she is feeling.
The next time your child starts to whine, ask yourself if she may be dealing with an emotion that she lacks the vocabulary to express.
I love this flip book for helping kids put their feelings into words.
2. Is she overtired?
If your little one is getting much less than that, she may be whining because she is overtired.
If she is grumpy, bored, or bouncing off the walls, these are good indicators that sleepiness is the culprit.
So settle her down, eliminate expectations for her to do activities that require focus, and create a calm quiet environment for her to enjoy for the rest of the day.
Then make a plan for a bedtime routine that will have her down early enough to get the sleep she needs from now on.
3. Is something stressing her out?
Have you moved recently?
Is someone your child is close to ill?
Do you argue with your husband about money a lot in recent weeks?
These things are all stressful enough as adults, but for kids they are even more so, because they have no control over any of these things.
Instead, they feel powerless and insecure in the face of these setbacks.
Once you identify what it is that may be causing your child to feel insecure, discuss it with her.
Tell her that you understand that she is worried.
But that God is always there for her no matter what is going on in her life.
Then ask her if she has any questions, and do your best to answer them as honestly and reassuringly as you can.
And let her know that she should always let you know when something is bothering her.
Finally, try to minimize her exposure to adult worries and conversations going forward.
The Pay Off
A child who seems to whine constantly can be especially stressful for a stay-at-home mama.
Because there is no escape in sight.
But if you stop to ask yourself whether your sleep, communication barriers or stress are triggering her whining, you can stop it dead in its tracks.
You will lose out on many frustrating moments and gain peace in your home and in your relationship with your child.
What about you mama? What triggers have you noticed for your little one’s fits?